So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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