yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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