I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
