you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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