its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
