Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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