i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
