Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
