That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize