I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
