from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
