and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
