i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
