i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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