Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
