I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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