they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There r osticjed everywhere
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
