I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize