At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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