I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
