okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize