Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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