Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sext me about skeletons
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
