your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
