She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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