dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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