there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
