you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
