Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
