What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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