FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
