I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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