there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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