I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
