got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
