Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
