I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
