He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize