That's when you crack a 10am beer
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need to calm my uterus...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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