I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
