WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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