This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
