Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
