I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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