Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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