have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Will exercising make me less horny?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
