Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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