If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
