U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize