Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
