kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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