Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
