do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
