seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
