Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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