It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize