It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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